31 Comments
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Horus on the Prairie's avatar

This is like an integralist version of the postmodern essay generator, and just as accurate as to the subject matter.

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Woolery's avatar

>a world of “so-called” “same-sex” “marriage”

It’s the triple scare quotes that do it.

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Bryce H.'s avatar

Go watch a Dimond brother video on YouTube. It is peak square quotes

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John OZ 🐢's avatar

"the Pelagian error of Gnosticism and the Kantian error of Humeanism" is sending me

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Martin Greenwald, M.D.'s avatar

Really hoping for a Protestant version that talks about spiritual warfare, sola scriptura, the apocalypse, revival, born-again, prosperity, "Jesus is knocking", etc etc.

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Bryce H.'s avatar

David Bentley Hart has an article on how modern culture definitely isn’t Gnostic. It’s so cathartic after hearing the Gnostic allegation from Catholics ad nauseam.

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James Reilly's avatar

Everything in the last paragraph is based, except the "as the Founding Fathers intended" part. That's liberalism.

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James Kabala's avatar

Yes, that was my first thought as well.

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Dominik's avatar

these guys are genuinely obsessed with nominalism lol

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Bentham's Bulldog's avatar

You went hard on the concupiscent talk!

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Haley Baumeister's avatar

have you considered pitching this to First Things, Church Life Journal or better yet, Touchstone? (might be too close to home. lol)

anyways, it deserves a medal.

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Rafael Ruiz's avatar

Wait I've read this essay before

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Transitions's avatar

Spot on….

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Forrest's avatar

The concupiscent celebration line actually goes hard.

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Rajat Sirkanungo's avatar

U r rly funny bro

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JS.Hardy's avatar

Well I'm convinced. Time to get baptised

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Stephen Weller's avatar

very well done.

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Amos Wollen's avatar

Thank you Stephen

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Nathaniel Tull's avatar

Almost forgot this was satire

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